What Minority Rights Have To Do With Living on Purpose
Feb 08
This week, my country voted on whether or not to introduce same-sex marriage. Without wanting to be dramatic, I’d say that the ride to that ‘yes’ has been pretty traumatic.
Before this ‘issue’ started being debated properly, I thought most people in my country were okay with same-sex relationships. After all, I’ve never really had any problems or bad reactions.
But A LOT of people have come out as very strongly against the marriage of same-sex couples. Watching the debates in Parliament really opened my eyes. My jaw literally dropped over and over again at the things some of our MPs came out with.
Now, this isn’t the place to have a debate about marriage and same-sex relationships, but I feel like I have a duty to use this opportunity to talk about equality and what it’s got to do with you.
So let’s link this issue up with living on purpose.
If you’re living on purpose, you’ve got to be aware of what you’re doing, right? The idea is to know what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it, so that you make the best decisions. You don’t want to one day realise that you’re not happy with the state of your health, or that you’ve missed opportunities because you were scared. It’s all about understanding the implications of everything you do.
Often, the things you do have implications for other people too.
Let’s look at a tiny example.
Maybe you’re having a laugh with your friends, and one of them is being all soppy about his girlfriend, so you call him a girl. No harm done, right? It was just a joke.
Meh. It sounds picky, but, by making that joke, you’re implying that girls have to be one way, and boys another. You’re dictating what is ‘normal’ and accepted, and laughing at people who don’t fit into that. And that could leave some people feeling isolated and self-conscious.
We have opportunities to make life easier or harder for the people around us.
For example, in the past, some of my Facebook friends have posted ‘jokey’ statuses about ‘trannies’. I had a choice between pointing out that they were being a bit disrespectful, and therefore encouraging them to be more respectful in future, and ignoring them, and so letting the problem carry on.
Pretty much every time we do or don’t do something, our decision affects someone else. If we ignore problems, we’re contributing to them, so we need to make sure we know what effects our actions have.
I don’t want to get hung up on examples or details.
I don’t want to talk about different minorities, and all the little ways that what we say and do might affect other people. That’s not the point of this post.
The point is that, with the freedom to do what we want, comes the responsibility to be respectful of other people.
We can’t be perfect, and I slip up all the time.
I try my hardest to notice when something I’m about to say or do might not be 100% respectful to someone else, because I know that it’s my duty to change my behaviour to include minorities; it’s not up to that person to change themselves to fit in with society (i.e. I’m using the social model of disability.)
But, even though it’s hard to get it right all the time, and I probably can’t know all there is to know about political correctness and so on, it’s my job to try to learn about the issues other people have because of the way society is, so that I can adjust my own behaviour to make life a bit easier for them.
We’re all different, and variety is good.
Last night, I watched Django Unchained, which is about a freed slave, and the thought going through my head throughout the film was ‘how on earth could we do that?’ It was horrific thinking that it used to be normal to treat black people so badly, purely because of one physical difference.
And not letting people marry people of the same sex is also discrimination because of a physical difference. It just makes no sense to me.
And I’m sure you agree with me on that, and would never be deliberately disrespectful.
But, a lot of the time, we’re disrespectful without even knowing it.
We’re not aware of how the words we use make others feel. Loads of people describe things they don’t like as ‘gay’, without realising that a gay person might be offended by that, because they’re essentially saying ‘gay = bad’.
But, because we’re living on purpose, we want to be aware of what we’re doing, and of how we’re affecting other people.
So let’s think about what we say and do, and be nice to everyone, and enjoy diversity.
Yay!
(And forgive me if that was too preachy :P )
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What an important post, perfectly worded as an intro to this topic, and so refreshing to see it on a lifestyle design blog! This is exactly what I have not yet found in the lifestyle design community – encouraging people to strive to be conscious of what exactly they are doing, and the implications of their actions and choices.
Here are my favourite parts from this blog post (and I think I’ll be quoting you elsewhere soon):
“If you’re living on purpose, you’ve got to be aware of what you’re doing, right? The idea is to know what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it, so that you make the best decisions. ”
“It’s all about understanding the implications of everything you do.”
“Often, the things you do have implications for other people too.”
“Pretty much every time we do or don’t do something, our decision affects someone else. If we ignore problems, we’re contributing to them, so we need to make sure we know what effects our actions have.”
“You’re dictating what is ‘normal’ and accepted, and laughing at people who don’t fit into that. And that could leave some people feeling isolated and self-conscious.”
“The point is that, with the freedom to do what we want, comes the responsibility to be respectful of other people.”
Lots of great words there! And words that can inspire a lot of important discussions and positive actions. :)
Wow, thanks! I was really worried about this one. It’s so hard not to say the wrong thing when it comes to minorities and political correctness. I’m glad you think this post is not out of place on Young Ambitions!
Interesting post but I wonder why you think it’s ok to fatshame in a post about discrimination. smacks of hypocrisy to me
You’re completely right. Totally went and proved that I mess up on this stuff all the time, even if I think I’m trying hard to be aware of it. Will change it when I get on a computer. In my defense (though I agree that it’s no excuse), I work in the weight loss industry and am massively into health and fitness at the moment, but purely for the health side of things. I really don’t care whether or not other people are overweight, as long as they don’t. Thank you for calling me out.
Now that I’ve thought about it some more, I’m not entirely sure I agree with you. This blog is written with the assumption that those reading it want to take control of their lives, and change certain parts of it. I use examples such as wanting to travel the world, get fit and learn new skills as examples of ways in which people might want to change their lives. I don’t say that anyone should go after certain changes, or that they should feel bad if they aren’t interested in a particular thing. I don’t want to make everyone think they should lose weight; it’s just an example of a change some readers might want to make.
Also, I don’t discriminate against people who are overweight. And there is a difference between being black, which is perfectly healthy, and being overweight, which isn’t. I personally don’t care whether any particular person is fat or thin, but you can’t deny that being overweight or underweight is less healthy than being fit, and that most people don’t want to be overweight. I assume that, because my readers are reading about living on purpose, if they are overweight, at some point they’d probably want to lose that weight. I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad; I’m just acknowledging being fat as something that a lot of people don’t want to be.
I haven’t articulated myself very well, and I do understand that some people would probably be offended by what I wrote, so I think I’ll add a disclaimer to my About page to make it clear how I mean for this blog to be interpreted.
as an avid Young Ambitions reader, I was very disappointed you retracted your apology – to quote this post ‘we want to be aware of what we’re doing, and of how we’re affecting other people’. It strikes me this is just what you’re not doing to your fat readers. You’re not just treating being thin as an example of a positive lifestyle change, but the ideal state of being. ‘you wouldn’t want to wake up and be fat’ ‘you wouldn’t want to wake up and be racist’ ‘you wouldn’t want to wake up and be a murderer’…
sad you’re not ‘thinking about what we say and do, and being nice to everyone, and enjoying diversity’ :(
Hi Carla. Thanks for commenting. As uncomfortable as it is to hear people disagreeing with me, discussing it is the best way to figure things out.
I’m going to be honest – I’m struggling on this one. I get that talking about people being fat will make some people feel bad, and that’s definitely not my intention. But at the same time, I can’t ignore the fact that being overweight is unhealthy. It’s not so much about being thin as about having a healthy body fat percentage. I don’t really understand why you thinking having a healthy body fat percentage isn’t the ideal state of being.
I really don’t want to make people feel bad, so I should probably change what I wrote for that reason, but I can’t pretend that having a healthy proportion of fat to the rest of your body isn’t ideal. I just can’t see it in the same way as being black, gay, trans*, ginger or being really short, for example, because it is unhealthy and those other things aren’t.
I’d really appreciate hearing what you have to say about this, or how you think I should change the way I talk. And I’m glad you’re calling me out as well, and hope you’ll express your opinion on other posts I write too.
I think this whole ‘fat’ issue has gotten out of hand. If Jo had said ‘smokers’ or ‘alcoholics’ or ‘illegal substance users’ no one would have had a problem because society in general acknowledges these habits as unhealthy.
‘Overeating and under-exercising’ is the same as those unhealthy habits… but where the complication comes in is that a small number people have trouble controling their weight (whether they are fat or thin) due to other health related conditions. And that could be offensive to them.
Overall though, most people I know who are overweight don’t do and hour and a half of excercise a week, they barely walk for half an hour anywhere a week and eat quite unhealthily. As a side note, I used to know 2 overweight women who’d go on soup and jelly binge diets for a fortnight to lose weight and would put it back on weeks later because they weren’t getting the nutrients and exercise they needed. I was sick of their jealous comments about my figure (I eat well and exercise) and the way they mistreated me that I decided they were no longer my friends.
Whilst it is not nice to call people names like ‘fatty’ ‘tranny’ or say ‘that’s so gay’, people should recognise that sadly obesity IS a health concern and it will affect their lives negatively.
I definitely think this is a difficult issue, and I can see it from both sides. I think the main problem is education, and what people know. Yes, we all know we should eat ‘healthily’, but most of us don’t know what that means, and don’t know how to do it, or where to get help with that, and most of the information out there about diets etc. seems to be a load of rubbish. With Young Ambitions, I’d just like to get people thinking about all the different areas of their lives that they hadn’t necessarily thought about before, and question the information they’ve been given by the media and the rest of society, and figure out for themselves what works best for them.
Jo, please read this. I will be commenting on your future posts too, as they always interest me!
http://www.xojane.com/issues/whats-wrong-fat-shaming
Also, I wanted to thank you for being so engaged with your readers, living on purpose in action
Thank you! I will read that, and try and think harder about the implications of what I say in future. So relieved that you’re still here and willing to talk it out rather than write me off!